R.I.P., Dear Buttercup

For this crazy hot summer, my cuppa today and most days is a bracing English Breakfast blend over ice and fresh mint. Celebrating my southern heritage of Kentucky, Arkansas and North Carolina.

Ten years ago, Jim and I welcomed two adorable lab puppies into our hearts. For many years I had a dream of owning two dogs, one black and one white. As we approached the pen to view the litter, my heart leapt with a mix of amazement and delight that God might just be answering a secret desire. We chose a shy, sleepy yellow female and an equally reticent black male. We named them Buttercup and Wesley after characters in a beloved family movie, “The Princess Bride.” Is there anything cuter than a lab puppy? Yes, I say, two of them!

As we put them to bed on their first night with us, I began to sing a lullaby in an attempt to comfort and calm them. It seemed to work. This frequent serenade became one of my special rituals with them. As I sing, they lie down, rub their eyes and nod off into a nap. Each dog had particular preferences for scratching and favorite parts for petting. They trained us well. 

Our first two years together were full of “training” and replacing lattice, shoes, sprinkler system heads and other destroyed items. Once they hit the 24-month marker, the worst of the damage mercifully stopped. 

This duo accompanied us through our move to Raleigh and the birth of our five grandchildren. Their love is unconditional. Their trust, protection and affection have graced each day of the past decade. 

Buttercup’s quick demise over three weeks this summer has been dramatic and heartbreaking. Accompanying the sorrow was a fierce determination to release her from suffering as soon as we could. I am grateful for a caring and professional veterinarian and staff. Saying goodbye was so sad, but the thought of her incurring more devastation was worse. We let her go, grateful for the decade we had been granted as her guardians. 

We are the owners of one dog now. It feels strange. Wesley seems disoriented and downcast. He wailed two times on the porch the other day. I took it as an acceptance that his constant companion in this life would not be back. We are walking him more and spending extra time with him in his residence, our screened-in back porch. We will all adjust to four becoming three. It will be different, but ok. 

C.S. Lewis got it when he wrote, “We treat our dogs as if they were ‘almost human’: that is why they really become ‘almost human’”. I will leave it to theologians to contemplate the Romans 8 implications of dogs being in heaven. For now, I am nursing a tender heart of remembrances, grateful for the love of precious Buttercup. 

My Mission Trip Fail

God’s Man

From the time of my conversion as an 18-year-old, I was all-in. An unashamed Jesus Freak, I witnessed in my college classes, quoted scripture to my druggie friends, and created a radio show to play “Jesus music” on the brand-new campus radio station. My unrestrained boldness later got me kicked off the station. My prayer was, “Lord, I’ll go wherever you want me to go and do whatever you want me to do. I will follow wherever you lead me.” And I believed it until my first mission trip.

The Scottish Revival Team

While in seminary in California, I joined a team planning an 8-week mission trip to Scotland. We prostrated ourselves on the floor praying together and fasting every week. We believed that God would use us to impact towns and cities leaving a trail of revival behind us.

None of us were prepared for the hardness of heart and outright rejection of the gospel that met us like the stone walls around the city of Dundee. Before going on the streets to witness, we prayed until we felt the clouds of darkness lift. Sometimes we prayed 4 to 6 hours straight. I remember a man telling me emphatically while pointing to his 4 year-old son, “I’m going to hell and so is he, and I don’t care!” He turned, quickly boarded a bus and was off in a puff of smoke, leaving me feeling sorry for him and angry at his spiritual blindness.

We met 12- and 13-year-old alcoholics who were more vile and hard-hearted than the off-duty Marines we witnessed to back in California. Day after day and week after week, rejection after rejection, my soul became sick from seeing people in such hopeless darkness.

Broken

When I returned from that mission trip, wounded and spiritually broken, I knew that if God called me to return to Scotland as a missionary, I wouldn’t have what it took to say yes. No longer was I God’s man for any assignment. I had failed in Scotland and failed as a disciple of unwavering obedience. From then on, I would walk with a limp.

A Door into God’s Grace

Being broken and unable to trust in my own heroic obedience opened a door of God’s grace. Whatever I do, whatever challenges of faith I overcome, it is only by the grace of God. Any lasting fruit from the work of Firefall International is by His grace. 

The relationship I have with you, and your faithfulness in prayer, and generosity in giving is (you guessed it!) only because of the grace of God.

We see God at work, joining our hearts together and joining us all with our partners in other nations. We watch the Lord saving lives and transforming communities. We can lift our hearts together in worship and know that He has done it all by His grace for the praise of His glory!

Learn more about Jim’s life in ministry by reading his new book, Finding My Father.

Jim's Thoughts on 40 Years of Marriage

When I heard her pray, I could tell that she knew Jesus intimately and loved Him passionately.

We were in a chapel service of a start-up Christian university. Nancy’s spiritual passion (and stunning beauty!) quickly drew me to her.

In time we discovered we shared the conviction that marriage was only a possibility if we could serve Jesus better as a couple than single. I am also convinced that God created me for life with Nancy and her for me. Our marriage is part of God’s eternal plan for our blessing and His glory. And God plans well. That doesn’t mean it has always been easy.

A young woman whom we love, who knows us well, has often traveled with us for ministry in Asia. A few years ago on a trip in Myanmar, referring to Nancy and me she remarked, “You two are more different than any two people I know.” I don’t doubt that!

Nancy’s article tells some of our story about how that dynamic has worked out. Here are some of my thoughts that complement hers.

I’ve heard a lot of Biblical/theological discussion about the roles of men and women. What is the Biblical role for a husband? What is the Biblical role for a wife? Had we tried to follow the popular guidelines I think our marriage, and for sure our fruitfulness in the kingdom, would have been shipwrecked. We just don’t fit the stereotypes.

I think a better approach is to ask, “What gifts has God given?” I say that because God has given Nancy gifts that are not usually ascribed to the “role” of a wife. Nancy is a visionary and an initiator who can see and create what God wants to happen. An experienced missionary speaking of spiritual vision said, “Those who see the invisible can do the impossible.” God has created us to partner together in these faith ventures. Over the years (and none too quickly), I’ve learned to trust and appreciate Nancy’s gifts and contribute to the process in the areas of my gifts.

Nancy & Jim

Our life and ministry together, by the power of the Holy Spirit is more than the sum of the parts. We bring our fish and loaves and Jesus brings His blessings, multiplies the resources and “feeds the multitudes.”

Now don’t get the idea that our relationship is only a functional strategy to extend the kingdom. For sure, by God’s grace, that happens (and I’m in awe when I see God at work). Loving Nancy is, for me, a source of joy and completion. She is an example of generous, compassionate love to me. I am loved in a way I never dreamed was possible. I look forward to our love growing in the years to come.

-Jim

Nancy's Thoughts on 40 Years of Marriage and Ministry

"O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His Name together" Psalm 34:3

These words of exhortation adorned our wedding invitation and program. Jim and I chose this verse to represent our prayer and belief that we could serve God better as a couple than as two single people. When we met in graduate school, we each were committed followers of Jesus, pursuing education to equip ourselves for greater service to the Lord. We were the last people looking to find a mate, but God had other plans. Drawn by a desire to pray together for the spiritual life of our student body, we grew more and more comfortable with each other. We realized that ours was more than a prayer partner interest. After a few tumultuous months of engagement, we married on May 26, 1979. Two strong and independent followers of Jesus had a lot to learn about becoming one.

Nancy & Jim cutting the cake at their wedding

Jim and I are polar opposites in every aspect of the personality spectrum. I am an extrovert, he is an introvert. I am a "messy" by nature, he prefers tidiness and organization. I vent when something is bugging me, he is prone to bury it and keep on keeping on. As you might imagine, there were many years of "storming" before we reached some "norming" in our relationship.

A friend and fellow minister shared a pearl of wisdom with us many years ago. He said, "there will be times in your life when one of you is the race horse and one is the work horse and this will switch in different seasons. What is important is that you learn to COMPLETE one another and not COMPETE with one another." We have revisited this word from heaven on many occasions and reminded ourselves that what matters is loving and supporting each other as we seek to walk in obedience to God's call.

In the early years of our marriage, Jim was a pastor and youth leader and I was a stay at home mom. A former researcher and writer for a national television program, I loved my 24/7 unpaid job of forming the character of three amazing little girls, but sometimes struggled with feeling isolated and forgotten. When Jim would take a team of young people to Mexico for a mission trip, my part was to deal with broken down appliances or tires that always seemed to deflate after he departed. When I realized that this was my "work horse season" and training for future harvest, I could relax and enjoy the treasures God was giving me each day with Hannah, Abby and Grace. What a privilege I had to be with them as they grew in physical, mental and spiritual development. Our daughters are our great blessing from God.

Years later, when we worked together in ministry, we began a learning curve of understand and respecting one another's gifting and personality. I learned that setting an appointment with my husband to discuss a matter was much preferred by him than my popping in with my thoughts as "the spirit moved me." I also learned that a well written email was the superior form of communication at times. Agreeing on a start and end time for a delicate conversation helped us quite a bit, too. We try to never let the sun go down on our anger, and for the most part we have been successful. Practicing forgiveness is key. I am still perfecting this art!

As the Lord began to send us out to the nations together and separately, there was a new season of mentoring and fruitfulness as we sought to encourage national leaders in ministry and in their marriages. The things we learned in the difficult, stretching seasons were not only for our good and growth, but for sharing with those who looked to us to give input in their lives. This has been a great source of fulfillment as we see what happens when we share "warts and all" about some of our struggles and how the Lord came through in us, between us and through us.

As I enter into the next season of life and marriage, I continue to be amazed at this journey with Jesus and Jim Pennington. His faithfulness and discipline in prayer, fasting and Bible study have brought untold blessings to our lives and ministry.  We now have three amazing married daughters, three outstanding sons-in-law and four adorable grandchildren by God's grace. We have known the Lord in intimacy and in power. We have traveled to thirty some nations sharing His love. We look forward to the days ahead, enjoying them together.

Jim & Nancy with their four grandchildren (left to right: Henry, Eve, Lucy and Jack)

“O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;

You maintain my lot.

The boundary lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;

Yes, I have a good inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6

Check back on Thursday for Jim’s thoughts on 40 years of marriage and ministry!