"O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His Name together" Psalm 34:3
These words of exhortation adorned our wedding invitation and program. Jim and I chose this verse to represent our prayer and belief that we could serve God better as a couple than as two single people. When we met in graduate school, we each were committed followers of Jesus, pursuing education to equip ourselves for greater service to the Lord. We were the last people looking to find a mate, but God had other plans. Drawn by a desire to pray together for the spiritual life of our student body, we grew more and more comfortable with each other. We realized that ours was more than a prayer partner interest. After a few tumultuous months of engagement, we married on May 26, 1979. Two strong and independent followers of Jesus had a lot to learn about becoming one.
Nancy & Jim cutting the cake at their wedding
Jim and I are polar opposites in every aspect of the personality spectrum. I am an extrovert, he is an introvert. I am a "messy" by nature, he prefers tidiness and organization. I vent when something is bugging me, he is prone to bury it and keep on keeping on. As you might imagine, there were many years of "storming" before we reached some "norming" in our relationship.
A friend and fellow minister shared a pearl of wisdom with us many years ago. He said, "there will be times in your life when one of you is the race horse and one is the work horse and this will switch in different seasons. What is important is that you learn to COMPLETE one another and not COMPETE with one another." We have revisited this word from heaven on many occasions and reminded ourselves that what matters is loving and supporting each other as we seek to walk in obedience to God's call.
In the early years of our marriage, Jim was a pastor and youth leader and I was a stay at home mom. A former researcher and writer for a national television program, I loved my 24/7 unpaid job of forming the character of three amazing little girls, but sometimes struggled with feeling isolated and forgotten. When Jim would take a team of young people to Mexico for a mission trip, my part was to deal with broken down appliances or tires that always seemed to deflate after he departed. When I realized that this was my "work horse season" and training for future harvest, I could relax and enjoy the treasures God was giving me each day with Hannah, Abby and Grace. What a privilege I had to be with them as they grew in physical, mental and spiritual development. Our daughters are our great blessing from God.
Years later, when we worked together in ministry, we began a learning curve of understand and respecting one another's gifting and personality. I learned that setting an appointment with my husband to discuss a matter was much preferred by him than my popping in with my thoughts as "the spirit moved me." I also learned that a well written email was the superior form of communication at times. Agreeing on a start and end time for a delicate conversation helped us quite a bit, too. We try to never let the sun go down on our anger, and for the most part we have been successful. Practicing forgiveness is key. I am still perfecting this art!
As the Lord began to send us out to the nations together and separately, there was a new season of mentoring and fruitfulness as we sought to encourage national leaders in ministry and in their marriages. The things we learned in the difficult, stretching seasons were not only for our good and growth, but for sharing with those who looked to us to give input in their lives. This has been a great source of fulfillment as we see what happens when we share "warts and all" about some of our struggles and how the Lord came through in us, between us and through us.
As I enter into the next season of life and marriage, I continue to be amazed at this journey with Jesus and Jim Pennington. His faithfulness and discipline in prayer, fasting and Bible study have brought untold blessings to our lives and ministry. We now have three amazing married daughters, three outstanding sons-in-law and four adorable grandchildren by God's grace. We have known the Lord in intimacy and in power. We have traveled to thirty some nations sharing His love. We look forward to the days ahead, enjoying them together.
Jim & Nancy with their four grandchildren (left to right: Henry, Eve, Lucy and Jack)
“O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The boundary lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6
Check back on Thursday for Jim’s thoughts on 40 years of marriage and ministry!
