When I heard her pray, I could tell that she knew Jesus intimately and loved Him passionately.

We were in a chapel service of a start-up Christian university. Nancy’s spiritual passion (and stunning beauty!) quickly drew me to her.

In time we discovered we shared the conviction that marriage was only a possibility if we could serve Jesus better as a couple than single. I am also convinced that God created me for life with Nancy and her for me. Our marriage is part of God’s eternal plan for our blessing and His glory. And God plans well. That doesn’t mean it has always been easy.

A young woman whom we love, who knows us well, has often traveled with us for ministry in Asia. A few years ago on a trip in Myanmar, referring to Nancy and me she remarked, “You two are more different than any two people I know.” I don’t doubt that!

Nancy’s article tells some of our story about how that dynamic has worked out. Here are some of my thoughts that complement hers.

I’ve heard a lot of Biblical/theological discussion about the roles of men and women. What is the Biblical role for a husband? What is the Biblical role for a wife? Had we tried to follow the popular guidelines I think our marriage, and for sure our fruitfulness in the kingdom, would have been shipwrecked. We just don’t fit the stereotypes.

I think a better approach is to ask, “What gifts has God given?” I say that because God has given Nancy gifts that are not usually ascribed to the “role” of a wife. Nancy is a visionary and an initiator who can see and create what God wants to happen. An experienced missionary speaking of spiritual vision said, “Those who see the invisible can do the impossible.” God has created us to partner together in these faith ventures. Over the years (and none too quickly), I’ve learned to trust and appreciate Nancy’s gifts and contribute to the process in the areas of my gifts.

Our life and ministry together, by the power of the Holy Spirit is more than the sum of the parts. We bring our fish and loaves and Jesus brings His blessings, multiplies the resources and “feeds the multitudes.”

Now don’t get the idea that our relationship is only a functional strategy to extend the kingdom. For sure, by God’s grace, that happens (and I’m in awe when I see God at work). Loving Nancy is, for me, a source of joy and completion. She is an example of generous, compassionate love to me. I am loved in a way I never dreamed was possible. I look forward to our love growing in the years to come.

-Jim