Musings on Marriage

Today’s cuppa is a fragrant and delicious Earl Grey from Dilmah on this sunny, early fall day. 

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This morning, I am thanking God for my husband, Jim, our marriage and our family. The move from Hot Springs to Raleigh almost eleven months ago has brought into focus the treasure of our adult daughters and their families. While I deeply miss friendships and aspects of my decades of life in Arkansas, the strength and shelter of a loving marriage has surely fortified my heart in this year. 

Jim and I are perhaps the most polar opposite of people. He has files, I have “piles.” He is an internal processor. I have been accused of being “an opinion waiting to land.” We have had our rough patches over this journey of 41 years, learning to communicate, forgive and to complete rather than compete. We are not yet perfect in our union, but thank God we are moving towards each other rather than apart, by God’s grace. We are finding joy in the small things like walking the dogs together and a challenging game of spades. 

About 15 years ago, we met and fell in love with Minh and his wife, Blessing, while serving in Vietnam. We saw in them a purity of purpose in serving Jesus and a deep love for one another. As we got to know them over the years, we shared openly about our ministry and marriage, including both victories and failures. We enjoyed working together to offer conferences and training in their nation. We also spent time over meals and coffee, building friendship and trust, listening to their dreams and rough patches in their relationship. This brings to mind the verse “Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” I Thessalonians 2:8

Minh, Blessing and their children

Minh, Blessing and their children

We learned from Minh and Blessing that values of balance in family life and ministry are rare in their nation. Many wives feel alone and children suffer as their fathers place church duties ahead of them. Minh and Blessing committed to do the hard work of listening, talking and working through issues together. Now, they are leading marriage seminars in their nation, embodying the testimony of a flourishing marriage and bringing challenge to church leaders. Their tears and transparency are opening hearts to the Holy Spirit, resulting in conviction, repentance and healing between husbands and wives and children. 

What a privilege that somehow, some way, keys about marriage were “caught” more than taught in our chats with Minh and Blessing and that lives are being impacted through this delightful couple. 

Growth plan for today:

  1. Lord, how could I strengthen my mate and my marriage today?

  2. Lord, how could I strengthen another marriage today by my prayers or action?